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After my death our beloved Church abroad will break three ways ... first the Greeks will leave us as they were never a part of us ... then those who live for this world and its glory will go to Moscow ... what will remain will be those souls faithful to Christ and His Church. ~St. Philaret of NY

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Controller's Philosophy

Philosophy of a Controlling Person

"It's not what you say, but how you say it."

Somebody on a control-trip is concerned with their image, not with the truth.

Below is copied an excerpt from a book by Patricia Evans* wherein she discusses the cause, effects, and possible cure for the controlling personality.  This particular quote is a self-realization of one of her clients – a controlling man who honestly tried to cease his psychological abuse of his wife. 

          "I would never do anything that might be perceived improper by the general public.  In public I wouldn't burst into a rage or demean someone because that would ruin my squeaky-clean image.  In public my need to be right was satisfied even if I didn't win if I was seen as a good sport.  It's like you can be right but look like an idiot if you lose your cool expressing it.  What matters is who sees.  And I was master.  No one saw.  I deeply needed others to respect me.  One of my greatest fears was that someone besides my wife would find out I was behaving improperly."  
         
from Controlling People, by Patricia Evans, p. 151
*founder of Evans Interpersonal Communications Institute,  Alamo CA

2 comments:

Joanna said...

His words were smoother than oil, yet they are darts.

Joanna said...


"All sociopaths are controlling. But not all controllers are sociopaths."

So far, my observation is this is true.

I know controlling people who are not psychopathic. To me a psychopath gets pleasure from seeing others in distress. Sadistic.

But I would think that controlling persons are in the beginning stages of developing psychopathy, especially if they LIE to control people. Controllers are just fearful, lacking trust in God. But LIARS invite demons to assist them.

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